As many of you know, the LGBT community has faced a recent string of hate
crimes, including the horrific murder of a young man in the West Village and
three more possible incidences just this week. We at the Center joined many of
you to respond with sadness and outrage this past Monday for a March and Rally
Against Hate Violence. Whether you were here in person or in spirit, you were a
crucial part of spreading the message that the LGBT community is strong, united
and unwilling to accept this senseless hatred and violence.
To help us all feel safer in these troubling times, the New York City
Anti-Violence Project will launch the Friday Community Safety Nights initiative, beginning this
Friday, May 24. Every Friday night through the end of June, AVP
will be doing outreach in neighborhoods affected by anti-LGBTQ violence to
raise awareness and provide people with information and safety tips. They will
work to bring community members together to talk about what we can do to address
and prevent this violence – and you can help! AVP needs dedicated volunteers
and concerned community members to join them in bringing the message of safety
to the streets.
To join AVP for the first Friday Community Safety Night, please contact Tasha Amezcua
at tamezcua@avp.org. Please also know that
AVP offers support and assistance via their free and confidential 24-hour
bilingual (English/Spanish) hotline at 212.714.1141, where you can speak with a
trained counselor and seek support. You can also report violence anonymously
online to www.avp.org.
We are sincerely grateful to AVP for all that they do, and to you for being
part of what makes our community so special. Stay strong, and don’t hesitate to
reach out to the Center if you need help by calling 212.620.7310
or emailing info@gaycenter.org.
Today, Saturday, December 10th, is Human Rights Day. On this day, the world pays tribute to human rights defenders and dedicates time to collective change and protest. The advocacy for a 100% AIDS free generation, overall sexual health, and female reproductive rights globally must be linked in the collective conscious as a Human Right in order to cause a paradigm shift in erasing hate, sexism, xenophobia, transphobia and homophobia.
Speaking in Geneva for International Human Rights Day, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reminded the audience that the original December 10, 1948 universal declaration for human rights adopted by the United Nations General Assembly clearly and simply stated that “all human beings are born free and equal with dignity and rights” and that as humans, we had rights by birth. Over the years these rights have come to include, the well-known struggle for civil rights of African Americans in the U.S., the right to housing, an adequate standard of living, right to health, the right to protection from discrimination on grounds such as physical or mental disability, gender, religion, race, national origin, age, sexual discrimination, or gender identity.
Sounds awesome, except that it is a fact that over 50 years since the Declaration was signed, there are still gaps in equality in every one of these areas. The GET DOWN campaign is very concerned about human rights, especially as it relates to stigma and the spread of HIV. In November, GET DOWN youth blogger Melani Pino-Elliott touched on the sexual rights of women globally (http://getdownpsa.blogspot.com/2011/11/dangerous-liaison-antifeminist-culture.html), and how sexual violence is used a weapon of war in many countries, and as an abuse of power here in the United States. As Pino’s blog illustrates, although there needs to be more research in order to track the number of HIV infections due to sexual violence in the U.S., in sub-saharan Africa and other parts of the world, there is a direct correlation. With respect to sexual identity, there is still much work to be done in order to erase the kind of homophobia that would cause teens and adolescents to bully their peers who they suspect of being gay so much so that the only solution the bullied youth can think of is to take their own life.
While progress is being made in the U.S. in the area of gay marriage, in other countries, not so much. Take Uganda, for example, where disclosure of sexual identity may often than not lead to death. The Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality Bill is a legislative proposal what would outlaw homosexuality and make homosexual behavior punishable by imprisonment or death. Ironically, an ardent supporter of the so-called “Kill The Gays” Bill is American evangelist and “hate exporter” Lou Engle, now in Uganda fanning the flames of homophobia and helping maintain a climate where in Fall 2010, a Ugandan newspaper Rolling Stone (no relation to its U.S. namesake), ran the photo of LGBT activist David Kato on its cover with the headlines “Hang Them”, “We Shall Recruit 100,000 kids by 2012” and “Homos Raid Schools”. Kato was later found beaten to death. In 2010, President Obama’s criticism of the Ugandan bill was “met with a strong rebuttal from Ugandan Christian minister Martin Ssempa” according to Accuracy In Media (aim.org). The article goes onto to say that “Ssempa, a major player in the country’s successful anti-AIDS program, says that Obama has an ‘obsession with the spread of sodomy in Africa’. Ssempa and other pastors have formed a National Pastors Task Force that urges abstinence and monogamy as measures to decrease HIV infections and rally against homosexuality with archaic mistruth such as “homosexuality and bisexuality are associated with serious, yet preventable public-health risks”. Hello. This is 2011, not 1981. As widely reported by Avert and other organizations, “Sub-Saharan Africa is one region of the world where the majority of HIV transmission occurs during heterosexual contact.”
Now Nigeria is introducing a similar anti-gay bill. According to Forbes.com, the Nigerian Anti-Gay Bill will prohibit same-sex romantic liaisons and dole out 10-14 year jail sentences. President Obama has threatened to cut off foreign aid to Nigeria if the bill is passed and, according to Forbes.com, “that the fight against gay and lesbian discrimination would be a central point of U.S. foreign policy, and transgressing nations like Nigeria could be denied aid”. On Monday, Ifeanyi Orazulike and other Nigerian activists are speaking out at the UN against this bill.
Today is Human Rights Day 2011. The first step in advocating for increased sexual health and stomping out the HIV pandemic, is shifting perceptions, mindsets, and create more tolerance and then acceptance. If you do nothing else, begin the education process with yourself and then share what you’ve learned with someone else. I just did.
On August 5th, Gun Hill Road, a favorite of this year’s Sundance Film Festival, premiered in select theatres nationwide. Written and directed by Rashaad Ernesto Green, this riveting and authentically acted film addressed the complicated issue of sexuality, as well as the importance of love and acceptance by one’s own family.
Set in the heart of the Bronx, father Enrique Rodriguez (Esai Morales) returns home at the opening of the film after three years of incarceration. In his attempts to regain control of his life and family, his feminine son, Michael aka “Vanessa” (Harmony Santana), continues to distance himself from the home to live a secret life unbeknownst to his father. As Enrique becomes more aware of the divide between himself, his wife Angie (Judy Reyes) and his son Michael, he enters a state of confusion and denial. He soon discovers that Angie has been supportive of Michael’s decisions, which causes divisiveness within the family.
This independent film is unique in that it marked the completion of director Rashaad Ernesto Green’s thesis feature film. Emerging director Green is an NYU Graduate Film program alum and former actor who moved behind the camera to direct critically acclaimed shorts such as “Cuts”, “Choices” and HBO Short Film Award at ABFF winner “Premature”.
Also, making a debut is lead Harmony Santana, a 20 year-old transsexual actress from NY’s Lower East Side, who was able to relate to Michael’s struggles in a way that many other actresses would not have been able to do. The authenticity we see, from Michael’s fear of facing his father to the rejection “Vanessa” encounters after her first relationship comes to an end, stems from a place so undeniably real that we want nothing more for Michael than to make peace with himself and his father.
This movie is a definite must-see! For all those struggling with sexual identity, currently in the transgender community or for all those wanting insight into what it means to be transgendered, this is the movie that brings it all to light. What’s more, Director Rashaad Ernesto Green tackles the subject of family acceptance and proves just how important love and encouragement from our families is. And that is something we all understand.
On a fairly recent episode of ABC's The View, the ladies posed the question of whether parent's should ask their kids "Hey, Are You Gay?".
Here, Xavier Ford, of FACESNY (our 2009-2010 HIV/AIDS Charity Partner) weighs in.
SHOULD PARENTS ASK THEIR KIDS IF THEY ARE GAY?
I sometimes recall my years working for Gay Men of African Descent and running the Youth Program The MARS Project. There would be an influx of youth who would become “homeless”. When I inquired to the reasons that lead to their homelessness, the most common answer would be “because I am gay”. Now, my reaction as a staff person in such an organization was quickly be enraged by the belief that a parent would discharge their child because of who they are. If it wasn’t for the fact that I encountered more youth with similar experiences, I might not have noticed the pattern that has been created within a subculture.
Remember when you found out from a teacher that you can call 911 if your parents hit you?! I know I went home with this new sense of POWER and AUTHORITY to challenge the power and authority that already existed in my household. I say that to say, we have gotten so used to fighting to prove who we are, fighting to assert what we want as individuals, we will tear down everything that has supported and nurtured us when we couldn’t do it for ourselves allowing for a generation of youth growing up believing that being “gay” is some dirty secret that if exposed will change the course of their lives, so they dread the question and when asked, use the “fight or flight” response to the situation.
But it wasn’t as simple as fight or flight or a simple response to a “question” but more a of validation.
Parents: When was the first time you asked “GOD”, why your child isn’t what you thought or asked for? Why isn’t he/she more like so-n-so’s child, they are so talented/smart/attractive/athletic etc. When did your little buddle of joy become a source of embarrassment and disgrace? I am sure if you’re truly honest with yourselves, you will see that it may have nothing to do with your child’s sexuality but maybe a highlight of something’s you found your own past. Now I’m not talking about your sexuality, but about the questions of validity you might have had to endure… whether it be:
“why aren’t you married yet”
“ why are you still with him”
“why don’t you get a better job”
All of those questions tapping on your self worth.
We all learn some of these things directly and indirectly from our parents, biological or adoptive and then forget that its not really what/who we are. S o no wonder no one really celebrates themselves as they truly are when its been so covered up by what everyone expects us to be. When a child grows up in such a space, they will begin to see what traits are not desirable and begin to formulate their own self worth by those measures never really encouraged by the traits that have.
Now imagine putting that onto/into your child?
I challenge parents to shed those questions of validation of what your child’s future experiences will be and highlight and celebrate the gift of life your child represents. Show your child that EVERYTHING they can do is because of them in their TOTALITY. “You’re the best at reaching things out of reach by others” would allow a child to not feel self conscious about their height forcing them into places and spaces that they may truly not want. I mean, how many youth play basketball simply cause they are expected to because they are “tall”. When you celebrate your children in every aspect, they will not allow the outside world on change their validation based on physical attributes or even sexual orientation, for the child will know that their sexuality is just another component of who they are, no more changeable then the color of their eyes…
But wait, we have ways to change that… so if your not happy with what GOD/Universe bestowed, we can alter it, all to make us more comfortable with who we are in the eyes of others EVEN if causes pain irritation, redness, but then thank goodness for clear eyes… and the cycle continues.
If a child is smart, successful, honorable, has a sense of fairness and justice, why would their sexuality threaten to take that away? Yet, teachers, pastors, parents hide it with such varicosity that it takes on a life of its own and threaten to take everything they believe away from them. They go these notions from their parents and it was reinforced by their environments.
So, before you ask your child that or any other question regarding “who” they are, ask yourself:
Are YOU who YOU want to be? If not, maybe the only way to fix the effects of such questions is to lead by example and show your children how to celebrate everything about themselves by celebrating everything within YOURSELF!
